I told my Maid of Honour to stop living through me after her own wedding got called off’
Getting engaged is an exciting time, but there’s arguably nothing more exciting than getting to share it with one of your best friends.
That’s exactly what happened to one woman, when she got engaged to her partner in December, around the same time as her bestie, Chelsea.
The excited pair quickly decided to be each other’s Maid of Honours, but sadly, things didn’t go to plan when Chelsea was forced to call off her engagement, after discovering her partner had been unfaithful.
“I asked Chelsea if she was still up for being my Maid of Honour and she excitedly said yes,” the woman wrote on Reddit’s Am I The A**hole forum.
However, things didn’t get off to the best start when Chelsea sent her a list of potential dates for a bridal shower, at the very same venue she had originally selected for her own.
“I told her we weren’t planning on a shower because a lot of our friends and family were hit hard by the pandemic,” she continued. “She was upset but let it go.”
Just a few weeks later, Chelsea approached the bride-to-be with a list of dress shops she had been planning to visit for herself, and was disappointed when she told her she wanted her friend – a seamstress – to make the dress for her.
“She convinced me to go shopping anyway, then ended up trying a lot of the dresses herself,” the woman said.
But, it wasn’t until the subject of a hen party came up that things really came to a head between the bride and her Maid of Honour.
“She presented plans that seemed perfect: a hike, a nice dinner, then a drive-in movie with my dog. I agreed,” she explained.
“She picked me up on Saturday but instead of driving to the park we were supposed to hike in, she took me to a lake house. My heart dropped because I knew she’d planned a house party. Lo and behold, I walked in and my bridesmaids were there, as well as the women who I suspect Chelsea would’ve picked as bridesmaids.
“There was also a lot of liquor. I don’t drink. My mother is an alcoholic and I want to avoid the same fate. While I don’t mind being around people who are drinking, it’s uncomfortable and depending on the situation, triggering. When I walked in, half the people there were already drunk.”
To make the whole situation worse, it wasn’t until 9pm that evening that Chelsea revealed she planned to stay the night, meaning the bride had no means of getting home, and she couldn’t stay over as her dog was at home alone.
“Chelsea said ‘he’ll probably be okay, it’s only one night!’ Long story short, my future brother-in-law came and picked me up and took me home. I didn’t tell Chelsea myself, as she was trashed at that point, and asked one of my bridesmaids to.”
The following day the bride woke up to more than 20 texts from Chelsea and others asking where she had gone and if she was okay. She replied to Chelsea, who said she would come round so they could talk.
“As soon as she walked through the door she started berating me, telling me she put so much effort into that party and I was so ungrateful. She told me that she wished I were a ‘normal bride,'” she continued.
“Admittedly, I thought she was coming to apologise, and I lost my s***. I told her I’d been walking on eggshells and compromising so I didn’t hurt her feelings but I wouldn’t anymore, and that she needed to stop living vicariously through me and planning what she’d want for her own wedding.”
Chelsea stormed out, and the two haven’t spoken since, leaving the bride-to-be questioning whether she was out in of line in how she spoke to her bestie.
“I can forgive the dress shopping. That’s not that big of a deal and understandable. But that fact that she lied about the hen party is not okay. She knew you didn’t drink yet made that a main focus,” one Reddit user responded.
“And then didn’t let you know that she wasn’t going to give you a ride home; which would harm your dog and inconvenience your brother-in-law. She’s out of line.
“I’d honestly demote her from Maid of Honour. She clearly can’t handle it after not getting her own wedding. She needs to take several steps back and stop sabotaging your special events.”
Another added: “I would highly recommend you drop her from your bridal party and possibly uninvite her from the wedding. She is obviously not in a good enough place to fulfil her duties and will most likely do something that will end up ruining your wedding day.
“I would replace her ASAP, with the understanding that, should she come to her senses and apologise, you may rebuild your trust and friend ship. But for now, she should be as far away from your wedding as possible.”